Be vigilant in your judgments of others!
‘Those people are like this, these people are like that ...
Sound familiar? Our tendency to make unfair, biased and
un-informed negative judgments of others.
Dropping your judgment and expectation of others: What does this mean for your own personal growth towards extraordinary living?
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~Mother Theresa
Let me start off by saying, it is sometimes necessary to make judgments based on our assessment of our environment for safety & life-preservation. This is not the context of this post.
What does it mean when we negatively and unfairly judge people?, or expect people to be a certain way, instead of just accepting and allowing people to be who they are, or what they aspire to be.
"Your perceptions and judgments of others reveal so much about your own personality," says Dustin Wood, assistant professor of psychology at Wake Forest.
In the study of psychology, we find that people who tend to describe, judge or perceive others with a more positive view, give insight into their own personality traits & qualities. Researchers have found strong associations between positively judging others and how enthusiastic, happy, kind-hearted, courteous, emotionally stable and capable the person is.
Conversely, the really interesting finding, is that those who are less flexible in their judgments of others, also tend to be less well-adjusted themselves. Negative perceptions and unfair judgments of others, are linked to higher levels of narcissism and antisocial behavior. The tendency to judge people negatively indicates a greater likelihood of depression and various personality disorders.
"People who tend to say that others do things because of their personality traits (a judgment) tend to have less adaptive personalities themselves. Those who judge others in a rigid way, are found to have less charm and appreciation of humor, to be less considerate and sympathetic of others, to be more sensitive to criticism, to be fussier about small things, and to be less warm, cheerful and interesting as a person. Those who tend to ascribe more traits to others, also tend to be more anxious, less confident and less capable of dealing with stress than others.”
The point is, if you are happy with your life and who you are, you are less likely to feel the need to judge others, or if you are happy with who you are, and tend to take pride & joy in being judgmental over others, then you may need to check yourself...
1. We are insecure.
2. They are different from us.
3. They do not agree with us.
4. We are scared.
5. We do not like them.
6. They hurt us or offended us.
7. We are lonely
8. We feel rejected, accused, or insulted.
9. We expect or look for the worst in them.
10. We are angry at them.
11. We are seeking change.
12. We want to hurt them or get them back
7 Things judgments do
1. Hurts people.
2. Prevents you from getting to know the person.
3. Makes you feel worse about yourself once you are done negatively judging others.
4. Perpetuate stereotypes.
5. Creates a pattern of negativity in your life.
6. Makes you judge yourself more rigidly.
7. Makes others judge you.
6 Ways to Stop Judging
1. Monitor your thoughts.
2. Look for the positive
4. Stop judging yourself.
5. Focus on your own life.
6. Remember how it feels to be judged.
Live a well extraordinary life.
Marie Joshua Jones
Psychological Counselor & Well-being Practitioner